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The pizza wars
Want to know the real story of the pizza wars?
The pizza Wars
Ah the tale of the pizza wars, a tale as old as time.
After the salami revolution of the sixth astral era. Remnants of the pepperoni rebels accrued power on the outskirts of Ul'dah funded by Ascians. They conspired to assasinate the arch duke of supreme for his role in the revolution but failed to adequately prepare and were immediately thwarted. The brother of arch duke supreme named "greasy NY pizza guy" was outraged and sent troops to attack the pepperoni rebels.
Around Eorzea word spread and became sympathetic to the rebels, mainly because greasy NY pizza guy had extremely poor Moogle reviews. Thus began the Great Pizza War, a war between the great pizza factions.
After the embers of the great pizza wars have died, new ideas started in the salami revolution took hold, with a group known as Pizza Time embodying the ideals of pizza-ism. The ideals held that everyone should be entitled to pizza at anytime and anywhere, as opposed to the meat lovers aristocracy who wanted to hoard pizzas to themselves. The other factions disliked that Pizza Time allowed the option of pineapple on pizza as they condemned it as heresy. But to pizza time, everyone was allowed to be given the choice of having and not having pineapple. Such ideals of freedom and liberty were foreign in those times.
This set the stage for the second great pizza war: electric boogaloo where the Hawaiian pizza faction declared war on the non-pineapple factions. Somehow by betraying both sides, Pizza Time became the last faction standing, thus ending the second great pizza war.
In the crusts of the second pizza war, Arch Duke Supreme's son: Pizza the Hutt arose to uproot Pizza Time's supremacy, this is known as the cold pizza war.
This brings us to today where soldiers of Pizza Time fight the evil Pizza the Hutt from selling TMNT pizzas. Meanwhile greasy NY pizza guy plots his revenge................
